Moday Memories: The Biopsy

Monday Memories: Did I ever tell you about Anna's admittance and Biopsy Continued from last week: I don't remember what time we finally arrived at the hospital that day. We actually still had a bit of light though, I remember seeing the sun setting as we approached the Hospital. The whole day went by in slow motion. I felt like I was living in a nightmare. When we walked into the hospital, I had no idea where we were supposed to be. Did they tell us where to go? We didn't have her room number or anything. "Are you being admitted?" the front desk lady asked. No turning back now, she sent us to the admitting office to fill out some papers, take our insurance, and put some bracelets on Anna and gave Jason and I our parents passes. That was it, we were a patient"s parents at Children's Memorial Hospital. Up to 6 west we went with all of our papers now. I still remember them saying, "follow the train tracks to elevator A and your going to the 6th floor." It didn't feel right that we were there. We went from being a happy carefree family with a perfect brand new edition, to this? This didn't happen to people like us. How are we going to deal with this, how much is this baby girl going to have to endure? We approached the nurses station with our papers, and then we were shown to our room. It was a double room towards the back of the unit, but it was just us at first. I was a little upset to think that we would have to share with another patient, this was hard enough to deal with, it would be nice to have some privacy. Well, at least for right now we were alone, I thought to myself. Alone my butt! There is no being alone in the hospital. I can't remember how many different people we saw that day, and we had a lot of questions for them. We were told Anna was scheduled for an ultrasound first thing in the morning, then we would meet with Dr. Alonso who would do the biopsy. After things quieted down a bit, Jason left for his parents house, but promised to come back first thing in the morning. Thank goodness, Jason's parents only lived 15 to 20 minutes North of the hospital at the time. If he tried to go home and drive into the city in the morning, it would have taken at least an hour and a half, if not more. Traffic into the city in the morning is always horrible. Jason got there the next morning before we headed down to ultrasound. The ultrasound took a while, it was very silent and uncomfortable in that room. I had been up all night and I remember wanting to crawl onto the bed with Anna and fall asleep. There was a bubbly fish lamp in there that Anna enjoyed watching. She was such a good girl! Usually two ultrasound tech's perform an ultrasound. I remember the first one looking for Anna's gallbladder, and not being able to find one. In between tech's, I remember Jason saying that maybe that was the problem. We had no idea that with Biliary Atresia the child doesn't usually have a gallbladder. We were looking for a way out, any other explanation than Biliary Atresia, because from what we have heard about it so far, it did not sound like a pleasant disease. The next tech came in, but wasn't in for as long as the first guy. Then we were done. We had to wait for transport and they needed the room, so they kicked us out. There we were, waiting in a hallway. After waiting for a good thirty minutes (yes, just for someone to show us back to our room. Like we couldn't walk up there ourselves), Anna's IV machine started to beep. Not knowing what was going on, we got scared. We didn't know why it was beeping, and no one could explain why. We tried to get someone to help us, they blew us off. They seemed too busy to want to deal with us. Jason got upset, and so did I. We demanded someone come get us, or for them to let us walk upstairs by ourselves. What did they think we would do? Steal our sick child out of the hospital? I don't remember what we ended up happening. I do remember that all it was, was that the IV machine battery was low, and needed to be plugged back into the wall, but how the hell were we supposed to know that. It sounded scary to us, and nobody down there knew what to do about it. When we got back to the floor, we meat with Dr. Alonso, who did the biopsy. They were able to do it right there at bedside, but Jason and I had to wait out in the hall. It was so quick, but the results wouldn't be in until the next day. More waiting, that is what being in the hospital was all about. I am patient, Jason is not. He hated sitting there waiting, so I told him to go on home and get some rest, "just make sure you come back early in the morning." I hated having talk to the doctors on my own. I always felt like I wouldn't understand what they said, but when it came time to relay the message to Jason I would forget. I wouldn't remember to write down questions. There was so much information to take in, we were so new to this it was very confusing. So, after we saw the docs for night rounds, Jason went back to his parents house. It was nice for Mary to be able to see him. I missed her so much already, but I needed to be there with Anna. We got neighbors that night. As much as I thought I would hate having neighbors, is as glad as I was right then to have them. I got to talk to the mother about our situation, and our uncertainties, and she told me about themselves. It was a little girl, about two years old. I don't remember what she was in for, but she had been in recovery for a surgery on her kidneys, and was able to move to the floor that night. Poor sweetheart had a ruff night. Although she had a crib, she slept with her mommy on the pull out chair. You could tell these parents were used to being in the hospital stays. That was going to be me, I thought. Always in and out of the hospital, this place was to be our second home. More knots in my stomach. I prayed to God that the biopsy would show all was well and Anna would be sent home with a clean bill of health. God, please help her, I prayed, heal her, make her better. Next week for Monday Memories: The results are in, and Anna's Kasai. Links to other Monday Memories (If you participate, leave your link in the comments and I'll post it below) Running 2ks Allison Shelli Rowan Snickerdoodles

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Happy Birthday Daddy!

Today is Jason's birthday, and just in time for it we got a nice huge snow fall! Jason loves the snow, I hate it. I went to Jewel last night and had to scrap off my car. It was snowing so hard that while only being in the store for 30 minutes, or less maybe, I had to scrap the snow off my car again! I am too lazy to get a really good picture outside, so I just took one out the doorway this morning.





It's too bad Jason has to work today, or he would probably take the girls out to play in this. That means I'll have to do it. Did I mention that I don't like snow? Later tonight we will celebrate Jason's birthday by going out to eat, then we will go to his parents house to eat cheesecake. Speaking of cheesecake, Mary had an eye doctor appointment yesterday. She has been complaining of blurring when she reads. We discovered that she is far sided, and she will need glasses for reading. Not a big deal except I will have to trust her to take them on and off all the time and not loose them. I told her we would buy a special case for her. She is happy to get glasses, as I was when I was young. I know that won't last, it comes to be a hassle. Maybe I should get Anna's vision checked as well. The whole side of my family, well most of them, wear glasses. Jason's mom and dad do, both have to wear bifocals. I wear glasses, Jason did, but hasn't since he lost his last pair. Ok got off the subject a little. So, what does this have to do with cheesecake? Anyway, since it took a while at the eye doctor I didn't bother to try to rush to get Mary back to school after lunch time, so I let her ditch the rest of the school day and we headed to Woodfeild mall to the cheesecake factory to get Jason a cheesecake for his birthday, his favorite! 45 dollars for a 10 inch fresh strawberry cheesecake! He's lucky we love him, Jason's parents and I split the bill. Mary and I went to lunch, and looked around in the mall for a little while. This place is huge, and I try to avoid going there too much because there is a lot of walking involved. I know, I sound lazy. You shouldn't go to the mall without money anyway, it just reminds me of what I want that I can't have!

My friend Jessie is also in town for a visit this weekend. She got in Thursday night and spent the night. We grew up down the street from each other, but didn't become friends until her sophomore year, and my freshman year in high school. Then, before Anna was born, she upped and moved to Seattle. It was sad, Mary was really attached to her. She comes and visits about once a year, it used to be more often but the longer she is gone, the less often she comes. We haven't taken any pictures with her yet, but we will get to that Sunday. We will meet up for lunch along with some other old highschool friends. McDonald's playland is were we are going for lunch, that way the kids can ply, and we can all catch up. I will try to remember to bring my camera along!

Monday Memories: Anna's diagnoses

Monday Memories: Did I ever tell you about The day Anna was diagnosed with Biliary Atresia These are not happy memories, but very much part of our life. I think I will continue each week as I look back on my memories of Anna's days with this disease, as well as her transplant before and after. I have never written it down, so now is the time! Anna's pediatrician called with Anna's blood test results. It was 7 o'clock in the evening on a Sunday night. I was very surprised to here from the doctor at this time of the night on a Sunday, because he told me to not expect a call until the mid afternoon on Monday. There was great concern in his voice. I remember him saying that Anna's bilirubin was still high (with this being the third blood test since she was born) At this point Anna was 7 weeks old. He wanted us to come in first thing in the morning so that he could give us a referral to a specialist. "There are a few options", he said. He gave us a few names, but highly recommended Dr. Whitington at Children's Memorial. On his referral paper I saw the words Biliary Atresia, and blocked bile ducts. I could still see the green lab order type paper. Holding it in my hand, clenching it very tight so that I didn't loose it for fear of going to Children's without it and them telling me to come back with a new order before the doctor would see me. I couldn't even pronounce the words Biliary Atresia. We got an apt. The very next day to see Dr. Whitington at Children's. Jason stressed the fact that he needed to get the day off of work to come with me, while I didn't think it would be necessary. How bad could it be? Some medicine to unblock her bile ducts and she would be fine! Jason was a lot more worried than I was. I always thought that he overreacted when Mary was sick or hurt, and this was what he was doing. I was glad to hear he was able to get the day off anyway, I don't like driving downtown by myself, I thought. We arranged for my neighbor to watch Mary that day since Jason's parents didn't live close to us at the time. As we drove down to the hospital I got to thinking a little more. This must be something that requires more than just medicine, or my pediatrician would have given it to me, right? I started feeling the knots in my stomach, I started to get nervous about what we would hear that day. We were called into a room not too long after arriving. First we saw Brian, one of the liver nurse/practitioners. He was great to talk to, and adored Anna. He asked too many questions, a lot that I couldn't answer. He asked questions about the color of her urine, her sleeping habits, her mood...but when he asked about the color of her stool, if it had been light, that's when I knew that they had an idea about what was going on with her. Then a couple more people came in and asked just about the same questions we had already answered. I was getting annoyed at that point, why do we have to answer the same questions over and over again? How many people have to touch her, feel on her belly before an actual doctor came in to talk to us? Finally, after 2 nurses and an intern, Dr. Whitington came in. A pleasant smile on his face was very reassuring to me. I thought all was well, we got all worked up over nothing. Then, he dropped the bomb on us. He told us he was sure it was Biliary Atresia, that if we ran into him anywhere else he would have stopped us. He proceeded to tell us about this disease, and what would come to follow. He explained the Kasai procedure to us, and drew a diagram of what they would do in this surgery. He told us that this procedure doesn't always work, and that she would eventually need a liver transplant. Before any of this Anna was to be admitted to the hospital for a biopsy to confirm his suspicion. It didn't all click with me right away. When the doctor left the room I looked at Jason and saw the fear in his eyes, then we both cried. Brian walked into the room to let us know that our bed would take a couple of hours. We had the option to stay and wait for a bed, or to go home to gather some things, and come back later that day. He must have seen parents like us before because it didn't seem to faze him that we were upset. We told him we needed a minute to talk. He understood. After he left Jason and I pulled ourselves together and talked about what we should do. We then remembered that Mary was with my neighbor, but couldn't stay there for a couple nights, or however long we would be at the hospital for. We needed to go home and gather some things for all of us, make some phone calls for Mary's school and Jason's work. We had to ask Jason's parents to watch Mary for us, and for, we didn't know how long. As we walked into the lobby on our way out of the hospital at Children's, Jason decided that he had better call work to let them know he wouldn't be there for the rest of today. As he was talking on the phone all terry eyed, I was sitting in the lobby, terry eyed, worried about every one looking at me. I have never liked people seeing me cry. Again, I thought, this place must see a lot of this. The car ride home was very silent, as we were in shock from what we had just had to take in. I sat in the back seat holding Anna's hand, as Jason drove. She was sleeping, and she seemed fine. Was she really as sick as the doctors think? She looked so peaceful, and beautiful. As we came closer to home, I started to worry about what we were going to tell Mary. At the time she was only 4 years old. How do we explain this to a 4 year old when we didn't even understand it ourselves? How would she react? How would we tell her that her new baby sister and Mommy and Daddy would be torn away from her, but we didn't know for how long. That she wouldn't be able to go to school because she had to stay at her grandparents house. This was going to be hard. As we pulled up to the house Mary was playing outside with some neighbors. So pretty with her long thick hair, she looked so happy and we were about to chatter her perfect world. We brought her upstairs after a brief explanation of the situation to our neighbors. All we told her was that her baby sister was sick, and she had to go to the hospital for a little while. She was very grown up about the whole thing, I know she wasn't happy about having to miss school, but she loved to go visit her Gama and Papa! Of course, we didn't have to worry about my in-laws saying no to watching Mary, they were always ready and whiling, but we did have to explain the situation with them as well. They had a lot of questions that we couldn't answer because we didn't know the answers. Luckily, Brian gave us a some pamphlets to hand out and those came in handy. When we arrived at Jason's parents house with Mary and Anna, we couldn't stay long, we had to get Anna back to the hospital. We let Gama, who was the only on home at the time, read the pamphlet. Her face turned white, she cried, gave us hugs and kissed and held Anna for a little bit before we went on our way. Then, we were on our way..... Here are a couple pictures of Anna before she was diagnosed: To be continued, next week....Anna's admittance, and biopsy. Links to other Monday Memories Running 2ks Allison Shelli Rowan If you participate, leave your link in the comments and I'll post it below)

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Yes, I Am One Of Those Parents!

Last night we went to see "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" I just had to get out of the house, I felt cooped up and just had to get out and do something. At 7:30 in the evening mentioned the way I felt to Jason and asked him if maybe he felt the same. He said he did, but wondered what we would do at that time of the night, and we had already had dinner, so going out to eat was out of question. Ever since Narnia came out Mary has been dropping hints to go see it, so I brought that up. I think Jason is one of the only people that hasn't read the book. He didn't understand what all the fuss was about, but I promised him it would be good. The only thing that held us back was the next show time didn't start until 9:00, and we had no one to watch the baby. Jason's parents would have watched her in a second, but they were out at a company "Holiday party" (a little late, you think?) So....did I want to be one of those annoying parents that brought the fussy crying baby to the theater? After discussing it for a while, Jason and I decided that we should just go ahead and go. It's not like the girls had anything to do today, they could sleep in late after being up till midnight (long movie), and Alex is always so good wherever we go, I didn't think she would make too much noise and figured that it would be about bed time when we got to the theater and she would pass out soon after the movie started. It turned out to work out fine. We got there and Alex was oooing, and awwwing about everything. She thought it was pretty cool! We got our seats, then Jason Mary and Anna went to get goodies (note to self, offer to do that job next time) They came back with popcorn, pretzel bites, 2 large pops, and two boxes of candy! I wanted so bad to holler at Jason, but he is such a softey when it comes to what the girls want, and he doesn't mind eating it either! We were having such a good time, I didn't want to spoil anything. They came back just as the movie started, I guess the lines at the concession stand were long. Besides a couple of outbursts from Alex, she was good! She sat with us, ate popcorn, and even had a few sips of pop. One time she started chanting DaDa, but I think she just needed to hear her own voice. Since she was talking over the loud speakers, she was being loud. The people if front of me glared in our direction, but she stopped almost as soon as she started so they didn't get too mad. A little while later she started to get sleepy, but tried to fight it, she didn't want to miss a thing! It wasn't long after that when she finally drifted off to her own land of Narnia! That was probably only half an hour after the movie started, and she was out for the rest of the time. It was great! Mary and Anna even stayed awake for the whole thing! When we went to see "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire", she fell asleep half way through. It was probably all the candy and pop this time around! Mary has always been good at staying up, even better than me! Narnia was a great movie, we all enjoyed it. The outing with all three of them was fun, and turned out ok! I might even do it again some day. I do know that the next time I go to the theatre and there is a fussy baby, or loud kid, I won't think twice. Sometimes you gotta just do it.

Anna's turn to be the big sister!

When I found out I was pregnant with Alexandria I was shocked, not only were we not planning another baby but I was on the pill! I thought maybe this would be our boy. Jason and I knew we would have another baby, but not this soon. I only wanted one more, and wanted it to be a boy so that I could be done having baby's and concentrate on the three. Well, we all know how that turned out. So, now I have three girls and a dream of having a boy some time in the future. Jason is an only child and this would be the last chance to carry on his name. As for me, I just want a boy! For right now there is no plan for another anytime soon, but that doesn't mean God has a different plan for us! Alexandria is the sweetest baby, and I wouldn't trade her in for anything in the world, not even a boy! She has THE cutest personality for a 9 month old. She already says HI, she also tries to say Anna but calls almost everyone else Da Da. When she sees something interesting she will say oohhh, or DA? (like, what the heck is that?). She has been crawling for two months now, but now that she has it down and she is a speed crawler. She pulls herself up on furniture and has been doing that for about a month and a half. She cruises along furniture, and has four teeth. She won't touch baby food anymore, except for the cereal and fruit. She is growing up too fast!

Before Alexandria was born, I was worried. Anna has been the center of everyone's attention for almost four year at that time, I thought she was going to be jealous of the new baby because she wouldn't be the center of the universe anymore. 9 months have gone by since Alex was born and not one sign of jealousy from Anna. I have to say that I am still shocked. Anna loves her baby sister. It reminds me so much of how Mary was towards Anna when Anna was born. Now that Alex is getting older, Anna is able to do more with her. If Anna has to take a bath, she wants Alex in there with her. When it is Alexandria's turn, Anna has to be in there with her no matter what. Anna taught Alex how to splash, and I mean splash big. The bathroom floor is always really wet after their bath. I took some pictures of them in the tub together the other day. Anna and Alex remind me so much of how Mary and Anna were. There are some things that Anna can't do, like change a diaper, spoon feed baby food and carry her around like Mary does. That really frustrates Anna. She wants to be able to do what Mary does. I have also noticed that some things Anna does, or says to Alex are the same things Mary did with Anna. Mary is passing down her good big sister skills for Anna to use with Alex. Alexandria is a very lucky baby, she has both of her big sisters to show her love and attention. She could never be board. I love the way she looks at them, with such love in her eyes, and envy. It warms my heart. I pray that they will be close as they grow older. Out of the five sister that I have, I am only close to two of them. It's sad really, but I guess if I think about it there is a 25 year gap between the oldest sister and the youngest sister, not to mention the five boys scattered around in the mix of us, with me the third from the youngest. When I was born my two oldest sisters were not living in my parents house anymore. So what's my point, I guess I kind of went off the subject, but I just hope that they are always this close:
Alexandria and Anna having a blast splashing in the tub!




Mary feeding Alexandria her morning cereal.



Just hanging out!

The Talk

Well, things are back to normal after the Holidays. Mary and Anna both went back to yesterday. In the past Mary couldn't wait to start school no matter if it was after Summer, after Christmas break, or even just the weekend. I knew that would change sooner or later, but my fingers were crossed for later. It's not like I had to drag her out of bed or anything, but the excitement was gone. Anna, on the other hand, was very happy to go back to school. Since she only goes two days a week, it's like a treat for her, like how it was for Mary. Preschool is like that, it's fun and you get snack time, and play time, and everything is a game, even when it's learning. Kindergarten is pretty much the same only you go everyday for a half day and everyone is your friend. First grade was the coolest for Mary, she was no longer in the youngest class, you stay at school for the whole day, and what is cooler then getting to eat your lunch in school? This year Mary realizes the work that she has to do could be challenging, eating in the lunch room really isn't that cool when you have to rush, and friends start forming groups that may or may not include you. Mary came home yesterday in an awful mood, giving me attitude, yelling at Anna for looking at her, and just not acting lik my Mary. I knew something was up. When I told her that she better shape up, and there was no reason for the way she was treating her sister and I, she fessed up. I guess a group of her "friends" were talking about her behind her back, and wouldn't play with her at recess because she was weird and stupid. I asked Mary if she heard the girls saying these things, and she said no, another friend of hers told her that she heard them talking about Mary and relayed it back to Mary. I was at a lose for words, I didn't know what to say to my crying eight year old daughter, who's heart was broken into pieces. So, the best I could do was hug her and told her that everything will turn out ok. I told her that it happens when your young, one minute you are friends, the next your not, and then the next you are again. I told her that when she goes to school tomorrow she should talk to her so called friends and ask them about what her other friend said they said, and that it could all be one big misunderstanding because these things happen. Turns out, they are the best of friends today. I didn't' want to butt in too much, so I didn't ask details. She did say she questioned them and "it WAS a misunderstanding, just like you said Mommy!" We'll see what tomorrow holds.

Talk #2, my and Anna's drive to preschool. Out of the blue Anna asked me if she was going to die. I told her that everybody dies someday, but that she wouldn't until she was old. (what was I supposed to say, that it could happen any day to anyone?) Then she asked: "so Gama will die soon?" Oh my, now what was I supposed to say to that? I told her: "no, Gama still has a lot of life in her, but yes, someday Gama will die." Then she said something that broke my heart, "when I was a baby I almost died." Not a question this time, a fact. "Yes Anna, you could have died, but you didn't and now your very healthy and have a long life ahead of you." Anna: "I didn't die because I got a new liver that wasn't yucky, and you gave it to me?" Now, with tears in my eyes: "That's right Anna."

"Thank you Mommy"

No, thank you Anna, for the sweetest thank you I have ever heard. When Anna had just had her transplant, I remember trying to imagine this day. It's not like I needed a thank you, but I can't tell you how good it made me feel.

Christmas pictures!

Okay, here we go. I have a lot of pictures, but not very much to write. I promise to be better with posting and looking on other blogs now that the Christmas rush is over. We had a nice Christmas, and as Becca would say, it looks like Toys r Us threw up all over our house (sorry Becca, I HAD to use that one!)

Mary and Anna on Christmas Eve. We went to my in-laws house to eat lasagna (real Italian food made by a true Italian Grandma, there is nothing better!)
These pictures are so typical of my girls. Anna goofing around as usual (hiding under the table, I knew she was there so I had my camera ready when I said I found you) and Mary very calm writing Santa a letter so that he could read it while he ate our very delicious cookies!


Alexandria even got into the spirit of Christmas, while Max the cat just lazed around.


When we got home the girls got ready for bed and put out some cookies and milk for Santa!



Jason and I didn't get to sleep until 3 in the morning because I put off all the wrapping, and the girls had a hard time getting to sleep so we didn't start till about midnight. Up again at 7. We had a wonderful morning with the girls. It was snowing, nice big snowflakes, I made cinnamon rolls, then the girls ripped open their packages 100 times faster than it took us to wrap them. Santa got them what they wanted. Anna got her American girls doll with Hazel eyes as she specifically requested. Mary got her American girl doll bed, which is a lot bigger than I thought after Jason put it together. It takes up a good amount of room in her bedroom. Santa got Alex a push and walk/rider, she didn't ask Santa for it, but he knew it would suite her;) Okay, last set of pictures:





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Prayers still needed for Moreena and Annika. Annika is still in the PICU, and still under sedation and on a vent.

Santa, great! But no lap for me!

Today was Anna's last day of preschool until January. The teachers threw a little holiday celebration for the kids, and the kids sang songs for the parents. Because Jason had to work, and Grama and Papa went Christmas shopping, it was just Alex and I. They sang a few songs for us, recited a little Santa Clause poem, and then we had refreshments. The teachers had told the kids that if they sang loud enough for the parents, they would have a special visitor. Of course, they all knew she meant Santa. So, as we were eating too many sweets, Santa walked through the door! Anna jumped up from her plate full of cookies, cupcakes, chocolate covered pretzels and snowmen made out of marshmallows to go to try and be the first to see Santa. For Anna to leave her sweets behind without making me promise to guard them with all my might, is just unheard of. I guess Santa is a very important guy. By the time I made it over to Anna she was already next in line. The way she acted toward Santa was different than I thought she would have reacted. I envisioned her running up, giving him a big hug (like she did for every single character she saw at Disney), jumping on his lap, and telling him in detail what she wanted for Christmas. When I walked up to them I noticed her teacher nudging Anna toward Santa. She was very hesitant when Santa asked her to sit on his lap, so she only just stood next to him. His first question was "Have you been a good little girl?" Anna answered yes. Then he asked, "What would you like for Christmas?" I did not hear her answer, I was trying to pass Alex off to someone so that I could take a picture or two without getting the camera ripped out of my hand. Darn. A couple of quick pictures, and Anna's turn was over. When we went back to sit down to eat the rest of Anna's sweets I asked her why she didn't sit on Santa's lap. She told me that she wanted to wait till we go to the North Pole to see Santa again, she would sit on his lap then. The North Pole? I told her I didn't think we were going to the North Pole to see Santa. Anna started to cry, "but you told me we would go to see Santa tomorrow!" She meant the mall. We promised since Jason is off from work tomorrow, we would all go to the mall to visit with Santa. Since they make it look like the North Pole, that's where we miss understood each other. So, we finished our sweets, gave the teachers big Christmas hugs, told them we would see them next year, and went on our way to pick Mary up from school. In the car I could see Anna reminiscing her visit with Santa. After being quite for a good ten minutes (so not Anna) Anna said to me "It was good I told Santa that I have been a good girl, that way I will get what I asked for, huh?"

"Well Anna, you didn't lie to him did you?"

"No"

"You know, Santa will check his list again, he knows who is naughty and who is nice"

"Do you think I have been a good girl Mommy?"

"Yes Anna of course, now what did you ask Santa for?"

"I can't remember"

"Well, I'm sure Santa will"

I could tell Anna wasn't sure if she had actually been a good girl this year. She was scared that maybe she had lied to Santa, and all that silence in the back seat was her going over in her head whether or not she thought she had been a good girl. Besides the usual kids stuff, she has been a good girl. All kids throw fits when they don't get what they want, right? Get into fist fights with their big sisters, take toys away from their little sisters, give their food to the dog, torture the cat by trying to put butterfly clips on his tail to make him look beautiful. That is all normal kids stuff. I wouldn't have it any other way. She can also be THE sweetest girl in the world with all of her hugs and kissed and thoughtfulness. Anyway, I hope she asked Santa for what she told me she would ask him for. I am going to have to pay attention tomorrow when we visit Santa at the North Pole. At least I will be with Jason, and won't have a grabby baby to hold while trying to take pictures at the same time.






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I want to request more prayers for Moreena and Annika. Annika had to go back to the OR earlier this afternoon, and she is resting now under sedation and on a vent. This family is going through a lot right now, please keep them in your thoughts and prayers.

Winter Wonderland Part 2

Well, a few more inches are falling tonight. It's beautiful out there. On Thursday when the first big snow fell it took me an hour and a half to drive to get Jason from work when it would normally take 15 minutes. It was a mess and dangerous, I am sure people heard of the Northwest plane that slid out of Midway Airport. I almost got into an accident driving, someone lost control of their car and almost smashed into the side of our car, but I managed to turn out of the way and keep control. I will try to avoid driving in this as much as I can, but I sure love to watch it fall.

The girls had fun yesterday playing in the snow. They were out there from the time Mary got out of school until it got dark. They had a blast, and their cheeks were bright red when they came inside! It wasn't great packing snow, so they weren't able to roll a snowman out, but they managed to pile up enough snow to make a little hill shaped snowman.



Payers are still needed for Anna's liver pal Annika. The surgery to place the shunt is not working for her. They are waiting to talk to the doctors to see what has to be done now. Moreena is thinking that she will hear the word retransplant. This would be Annika's third transplant. Please pray that there is an easier alternative.

Winter wonderland

Sorry for the lack of updates. Everyone is sick in this house. Alexandria has been sick off and on for a few weeks now. She just finished her second round of antibiotics for her ear infection, and I think she might still have it, unless it is just habit for her to play with her ears now. Anna's ear infection is a little better, but still there. We went to Children's Tuesday for a follow up on her latest ear infection, and she had an ear full of puss that needed to be suctioned out. She is telling everyone that the doctor vacuumed her ear. The night before that I went to bed with my eye feeling a little funny, like I maybe had an eyelash in it, but couldn't see anything to pull out. I woke up a few hours later to use the bathroom and as I was washing my hands I glanced up at the mirror to see my eye swollen almost shut. Knowing I had so much to do the next day, I headed to the ER to get some explanation as to why it was like that. I guess I had a stye in my upper eyelid, which I guess is a backup of Bacteria, so basically like a pimple in my eyelid. I looked really pretty, I promise. I was told to use Warm compresses and some antibiotic eye cream, and I was on my way home. A few hours later I was up getting Mary ready for school. I have been having to drive Jason to work because his car broke down, so I did that, took Anna to Ballet, then brought Mary and the baby to Grama's and took Anna to Children's, and all of this with my eye half way swollen shut. On my way to Children's I got some relief because the stye in my eye popped, and all of the puss oozed out, but at least I was able to see a little better. We were supposed to visit Annika while we were there, but I started to feel like I was getting sick. There was no way I was going to expose her to anything, she doesn't need anything more to deal with right now. Since we had a little something for her we just meet Moreena, Annika's mommmy, in the lobby. Please say a prayer for Annika, she is bleeding again, and back in the PICU.

On the way home from Childrens, I felt horrible. Major sinus headache. The next day it was all over, full blown sick. Jason was off from work and took very good care of me, I was so glad to be able to take a nap (that wouldn't have been done otherwise, not with three little ones) and didn't have to worry about getting anyone dressed and running around to school and back. I am paying for it today though, with all the dishes and laundry backed up from two days. Today Jason has it, and has to work sick as a dog, poor guy. Mary was up all night coughing, so was Alexandria. Surprisingly, Anna doesn't have what we all do. She is usually the one to get it worst, and lasts longer with her (knock on wood). So, I am starting to feel better, and am able to take care of everyone else.

Today it started snowing, big time. We are supposed to get up to 6 inches, and it looks like it's already there, and is still falling. I didn't' send either of the girls to school with snow boots. I guess I need to start watching the weather channel. I just realized that Mary does not have any snow pants, so I need to run to Target. Thank you for checking up on us, hope everyone is well, Happy Snow!!!!

Right now this is what it looks like outside of my house. It's beautiful!


This is a picture Anna drew all by herself the other day while I was napping. Notice it's on lined paper with the edge cut off, but the binder holes used as the snowman's buttons. Very creative for a 4 year old I think!

Teeth!

They are finally in enough to be able to see in a picture! She has new hair growing in, it's so fuzzy. Maybe that means it will be curly? Who knows, but it is out of control.



More updates to come. Anna has been suffering with an ear infection. Alexandria has a double ear infection, again. We are going to Childrens for labs tomorrow for Anna, then a follow up for her ears at ENT at Childrens Next week.

Thanksgiving Day

Thanksgiving Day was great. Jason woke up early to play football with his buddies which is a tradition for him. He calls Thanksgiving Football day instead of Turkey day! Our good friend Victor is in a band that was playing in town the night before, so Jason went to see him, then brought him back to our house to spend the night since he was invited to Jason's parents house for Thanksgiving. It was only 18 degrees here in Chicago, too cold for me but it didn't stop them.

They left pretty early in the morning around eight, to play at our near by park. Pretty silly if you ask me, but the guys love it! The girls didn't wake up until after the guys left. I gave them breakfast and we ate while we watched the Thanksgiving day parade on TV.

When we walked into my mother and father in-law's house it smelled sooooooooooooo good. I just love the smell of Thanksgiving. The house was filled with food, and we ate, let me tell you. Appetizers of all sorts. Grama's Turkey came out great, she made sure not to dry it out this year, because last year it was a little dry. For the first Thanksgiving in her life she bought a meat thermometer to make sure she didn't over cook it.

The Turkey is done!

Papa carves the Turkey

And like you don't get full up enough on the actually Thanksgiving dinner and the appetizers you eat before it, there was dessert too. I felt like I was going to blow up.

Mary and Grama had gone shopping the week before. Mary picked up a nutcracker for Anna because since Mary's grandparents took Mary to see The Nutcracker Ballet last year and got a souvenir for her (her very own Nutcracker) Anna had been admiring Mary's. So, Mary gave that to Anna as a gift for Thanksgiving. This was very thoughtful of Mary, and Anna was so appreciative of it. It made my heart melt to see how very much these girls love each other.


I don't know if you can see from the picture above but Anna must have eaten something that she has a slight allergy to because all of the sudden her face broke out, and she was very itchy. I had to go home to get some benadril. Of course this made her sleepy and she passed out on the couch for a little while with uncle victor. And of course Alex was the most tired. After a day filled with bottles, crawling, and pulling herself up on everything, who wouldn't be tired. And Daddy played with Victors guitar.





After we all stuffed ourselves to the max we all settled down to watch The Polar Express. I would recommend this movie to anyone. It's one of those kid/adult movies. It is filled with Christmas spirit, the perfect movie to watch on Thanksgiving, right up there with Miracle on 34th street (the original of course.)


There are so many things to be thankful for. The most obvious is my family. My girls, Jason, my in-laws, our health and our friends who are always their for us. We have a roof over our heads and food on the table. I'm thinking of Anna's liver buddy, Annika, and her family who could not be together on this day. Annika is in the hospital right now for a bleed that she had last week, and is now waiting to go into surgery next week. Please say a little prayer for this family.

They grow too fast!

These children of mine are just getting so big, and their personality's are so much older. First of all, Mary has been asking for months to get her hair cut. Then Anna started asking as well. I have been fine with the idea, but Jason had been having a hard time giving into them. Finally, last week, we did it. We took them both to great clips. They didn't get it all chopped off, I wanted to keep it long. They both had their hair down to their waists. Anna had about 5 inches cut off, with some layers. Mary had 7 inches cut off, with layers put in as well. They both look great, but I am a little sad. Anna's curls got cut off, and I cried the other day. I thought that she would still have them, and that they would show up better with her hair shorter, but they are long gone. Here are some pictures of their new does:

The first cut on Anna's hair, then after it's done


I didn't get a picture of Mary getting her hair cut, but here is how it turned out:
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Daddy and Alex waiting at the Hair salon.


In Alexandria news: She has learned to pull her self up to a standing position. I was at the grocery store last night doing some last minute shopping for thanksgiving when I got a call for Jason. He asked if I had put Alex to bed. I started to freak out, "why, is she not there?"
"No, she is here, did you lay her down?"
"What are you talking about?"
"I was just wondering if you lied her down because she is not laying down, she is standing up!"
I could not believe this. Isn't this a bit early? I didn't think she was even close to pulling herself up to a standing position. Then I thought maybe Jason had lied about it, but why would he lie about that? When I got home he had her up, playing with her at ten in the evening. So, I put her down. Ten minutes later I walked in and sure enough she was standing. I startled her, and she fell to the side and hit her head, poor thing. It took her forever to get to bed that night. I think her reasoning behind it was that she didn't want to forget what she had learned that day.

Jason was quick and got a picture for me. The first time she pulled her self up.




Anna's friend Delta was over today. They played dress up with Alexandria, Mary was at a friend's house.


I know I posted a lot of pictures, but I can't help it. They are my pride and joy and we need to capture them in these young years because before we know it they will be in high school, college, having boyfriends, having babies themselves.....

Tomarow is Thanksgiving, we will be going to Jason's parents house. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

4 years ago.......

Well, yesterday marks the four year anniversary for Anna's first surgery, the Kasai. I can't believe it has been four years already, she has come such a long way. At the time I don't know if I really knew what was going on. It all seems like a blur to me. I think I was still in shock during this time. I know that some of my readers know exactly what I'm talking about. It was at seven weeks old when Anna's regular pediatrician became concerned with Anna's still being jaundice. I had talked to a family member the day before that told me I should get her checked out, "she may need to be put under bili lights", she said. Oh how horrible. I thought it sounded horrible to have to bring her to the hospital for a few hours to be put under bili lights. The very next day we went to visit our pediatrician, who hadn't seen Anna since she was about three or four weeks old. He told me it wasn't right that she was still jaundice, and that he would like to send us to a specialist at Children's Memorial Hospital, he also mentioned something about blocked bile ducts. My first thought was, ok, so you they'll give her some medication that unblocks them. I didn't even know where bile ducts were. On his referral, from what I could make out, he had written down ?biliary atresia?. That was the first time I had seen that word. Looking back I can't believe how very little I knew about all of this. I didn't even know why babies got jaundiced, or that it had anything to do with the liver. You can imagine my shock when our Dr. Whitington told us that he was sure it was Biliary Atresia, Anna was to be admitted that day to run further tests to be sure including a liver biopsy, and that if it was indeed Biliary Astresia she would need a procedure called the kasai and eventually at some point in her life she would need a liver transplant. It hit us like a ton of bricks. It took hours, days, for it to all register. Anna seemed fine besides her yellow color, is what I thought then. Looking back I know better, she was anything but fine. She was crabby all the time, barely slept, and had major feeding problems. I was in denial, I know that now. Only three days after we came to Children's Anna had her Kasai. She was just 2 days short of 8 weeks old. Those seven hours in the waiting room were miserable. Our 7 week old baby was having major surgery, I was scared about what the days following would be like, heck, what the years following would be like. It's unbelievable now. Anna is doing so well. It seemed like years while Anna was sick. It's hard to believe now that she had the kasai, 2 bouts of cholingitis, a month in the PICU, and her liver transplant all before she was 6 months old. Now, Alexandria is 7 months old, and it seems that she was just born yesterday. The time has flown by with Alex. By the time Anna was 7 months old she was home from the hospital and doing very well, it seemed like 7 years then, not 7 months. It's hard to explain the way I feel about all of this, and I am not great at getting my feeling out in writing. This was a bitter sweet day for us.

Now at seven months old Alexandria is getting growing up very fast. She has a tooth! She is crawling, and she does so big! You know, "How big is Alex?" Then when you say, "So big" she puts her arms up. She even tries to say it, but it sounds more like "AHHHH, AHHHH!" She is brilliant. Poor thing has been sick though. For a couple weeks now she has had a cold. One night last week she was up almost all night. In an attempt to calm her down I laid her next to me with her sleeping on her stomach and I was stroking the back of her head. As I was doing this I noticed a little lump on the back of her neck. This naturally freaked me out. I woke up Jason to make him feel it, but he didn't think it was anything. After I finally got her to go to sleep I put her down in her crib and tried to get some sleep myself, but you can imagine the thoughts going through my head. This could very well be nothing, but it could very well be something. After Anna and all she went through I don't take anything lightly. So, I got up and did a little research on my trusty computer, (well not so trusty lately, but that could be a whole other post) I came to the conclusion that it was probably just a swollen lymph node which was very possible because she had been sick. That put my mind at ease enough to be able to sleep until I cold call my ped the next morning. I got her in and he thought it felt like what I thought it was. He checked her out and asked me if she had been pulling on her ears, but aside from being stuffy and sneezy she had been pretty happy besides that restless night before. She had an ear infection in both ears, poor thing. I wouldn't have brought her in if it wasn't for that lump I felt, but I am glad I did. He was surprised that she didn't act like she was in more pain. My strong little girl, she takes after her big sister Anna.

I wouldn't feel right unless I included a couple pictures in this post. In an attempt to get a picture of Alexandria's tooth, this is what I got. It isn't big enough yet to see in a picture, but I like this picture anyway


Here she is doing SO BIG!


And crawling